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It Would Really Suck Wouldn’t It?

06 Mar

It would really suck wouldn’t it?

To wake up and realise that you have been asleep this whole while

That your life has been squandered by fear.

While fear lived your life for you,

Loved for you

Hurt for you

Cried for you

Laughed for you

You were tucked away safely asleep.

Safe.

That is the tragedy that is one relinquishing their power

The power to their life

Giving it away to the all powerful and ever wise Fear

“Fear will live my life better” he says

“Fear will love better” she says

“Fear will handle hurt better than I”

“And fear knows no pain

My life is safer with fear”

It would really suck wouldn’t it?

To realise when it’s too late that you never asked the right questions.

“Do I abide by the law because I believe in it or is it because I fear the consequences if I don’t?”

“Do I not break this wine glass because I am more worried about what the other patrons will think of me

And yet I don’t stop to think about it when I break my lover’s heart?”

“Am I normal because I act like most people around me?

Because I am not in the looney bin?

Or am I just one of the billions of crazy people in the world?

One of the billions of crazy people who believe they are the epitome of what is normal and have the authority to decide what isn’t?”

“If Man was created in the image of God, in whose image was WoMan created?”

“Who decides that stretch marks, cellulite and a flabby belly do NOT a beautiful woman make

Yet the Universe saw it fitting that be our natural

And in such abundance too?”

“Why does the world feel safer when we all think alike and individuality is not encouraged even when they say it is?”

We never ask.

It would be wrong to

We think it sometimes

But it is safer not to ask

It wont do to stand out.

We go along in order to get along

Because fear is at the reins of my life

It would really suck wouldn’t it?

To wake up and realise what I gave up when I gave up my life

When I decided it was better to survive than to live

It was better to plan than to leave anything to chance

To please all around me but never myself

To confuse pleasantness for pleasure,

To confuse being in love with the person someone is with being in love with someone

Lust for desire

Acquaintances for friends

DNA for family

Culture for tradition

Religion for spirituality and the knowledge of God

It would really suck wouldn’t it

To realise that the dreams I have chased my whole life

Were not my own but those of others.

I laughed other people’s laughter,

And cried other people’s tears,

Loved other people’s loves

And fought other people’s battles

But never my own.

It would really suck

To come to these realisations when it is too late to rectify

And I realise that I don’t get another go at this game called life

It would really suck indeed.

By Doreen Gaura

 

© Doreen Victoria Gaura/ Colouredraysofgrey, 2012

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2 Comments

Posted by on March 6, 2012 in Poetry, Reflections

 

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2 responses to “It Would Really Suck Wouldn’t It?

  1. Mr. Watson

    March 6, 2012 at 12:33 pm

    Great write !

     
  2. colouredraysofgrey

    March 6, 2012 at 1:20 pm

    Thank you 🙂

     

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